By Andrea Wachter, LMFT
Anxiety has become a daily reality for many people. Sometimes it shows up as a stream of racing thoughts. Other times, it arrives as a flood of uncomfortable sensations in the body. For many people, it’s both—a powerful chemical cocktail of worrisome thoughts and unpleasant feelings.
Of course, if there’s a specific situation that’s fueling anxiety, and there’s something you can do to address or change it, taking action can be an important first step.
But what about those moments when your body is filled with anxious energy and there’s nothing actually happening, other than your body being filled with anxious sensations, and you disapproving of them.
These are the times that call for something that many people find quite counterintuitive: compassion and tenderness.
Think of how you might comfort a frightened child. Sometimes, you know what’s upsetting them, and you can meet that need directly. But other times, the child is simply overwhelmed by emotion, and what they need most is presence, warmth, and reassurance.
This is exactly how we can treat ourselves.
If anxious sensations have flooded your body, try these gentle practices:
- Offer compassion to your body. Place your hand where you most feel the anxiety—perhaps it’s your chest, your throat, or your belly. Then, imagine offering warmth and tenderness to that area with your touch, as if you’re placing a soft blanket over it.
- Breathe with intention. Visualize your breath like a warm, tropical breeze moving through your entire body, gently soothing each cell. Try breathing directly into the area of tension, as if your breath is sending comfort there.
- Speak to yourself kindly. Offer yourself soothing words. Think about what you wish someone else might say to you in that moment and try saying those words to yourself. Ask yourself what you truly need. Remind yourself that the feelings will pass and that all sensations, like weather patterns, eventually move on.
- Shift your focus to what’s neutral or calm. Scan your body and see if there are any areas that feel neutral or calm. Let your attention rest there for a moment. You can even imagine the area that feels neutral or calm spreading its energy throughout your body as you breathe.
- Add gentle movement. If it feels comforting, let your body slightly sway or rock from side to side or forward and back. This gentle motion can mimic the calming rhythm of being held and signal safety to your nervous system.
- Try a self-hug. Cross your arms over your chest and gently hold your shoulders, upper arms, or your upper torso. Let yourself feel the weight and warmth of your own holding. You can even give yourself a gentle squeeze or combine this with rocking if it feels comforting.
- Ground yourself in the present moment. Look around and notice a few colors, shapes, or textures you can see. Notice any sounds in your environment. Notice what your hands are touching or if you can feel the energy in the palms of your hands. Notice your feet on the floor or any sensation in the soles of your feet. Feel yourself being held and supported by the surface beneath you.
When we feel anxious, our instinct is often to fight it, try to fix it, or distract ourselves from it. Distraction can be helpful at times, except when the means we use to distract are unhealthy or unhelpful in the long run.
What anxiety really needs is to be seen, heard, and held, just like we all do.
Ironically, the more we resist our anxious feelings, the more they tend to tighten their grip. But when we meet them with compassion, they begin to soften.
So if you become aware of anxious sensations in your body, try some of these gentle, compassionate responses and see how your body responds.