By Andrea Wachter, LMFT
Does this scenario seem familiar?
You’re going about your day and suddenly you’re overtaken with butterflies in your belly and worried thoughts in your mind.
Your worries might be attached to certain situations in your life, or they may not even have a specific topic or target.
All you know is that the pit in your stomach and the tightness in your chest are back (or rarely leave) and your mind is swirling with unpleasant, unhelpful thoughts.
You know that there’s nothing you can or need to do in the moment to tend to the topics you’re worried about, yet your mind is off and running with worry and your body is coursing with the chemical cocktail of cortisol.
Now, see if this scenario sounds familiar.
You’re sitting on the couch watching TV. A movie comes on and you quickly realize that you don’t like it at all. Maybe it’s a scary movie and you’re not a fan of scary movies. Maybe you don’t resonate with the characters. Maybe you don’t like the dialogue or the sound.
What do you do?
I’m guessing that you pick up the remote and change the channel.
So, how does worry and changing the TV station relate to each other?
When we realize that our minds are playing their worrisome movies, we have the option of changing our internal channel. This is really good news. Our minds may be accustomed to regularly playing their stressful programs, but we have the remote control.
Is it easy to change our internal channels? Not at first for most of us, especially if we’ve been playing and replaying scary movies for a while.
We also might continue to experience unpleasant physical sensations after we’ve switched to a pleasant or present channel. Just like we might feel the uneasy aftereffects of watching a horror movie, many people feel some lingering sensations after a bout of worry.
But, with consistent channel changing, feeling present, calm, and self-compassionate can become our new norm. Then, feeling worried and anxious begins to feel like an old rerun that signals us right back to the remote.
So, how do we know when it’s time to change our internal channel? Our bodies will tell us. Worrisome thoughts don’t feel good. So, when we worry, our bodies give us feedback. All we need to do is stay aware of how we’re feeling and what thought patterns we’ve been thinking.
Awareness enables us to break the trance of unpleasant or un-present programs like worry or fear. Awareness gives us the option to choose alternative channels to focus our attention on rather than allowing our painful thought patterns to repeatedly play.
Awareness is waking up to the fact that our minds have returned to the fear, worry, or anxiety channel. Then, we can decide what to do with the remote. We do not have to sit powerlessly and watch worrisome mind movies all day and night.
So, what are some of our alternative channels if we realize our minds have been binge-watching the worry network?
One option is to switch to the presence program. Here we can tune into our senses in the present moment. We can notice what we’re touching, hearing, seeing, tasting, or smelling. We tune into our breathing and the surface beneath us. There will always be a breath and a surface to turn our attention to.
We can switch to the compassion channel by offering ourselves compassion, understanding, acceptance, and validation. Whatever emotions or sensations we’re experiencing can be softened by the comfort of our own compassion.
We can click on the nature channel. We can think about nature or appreciate our favorite things in nature. We can go out in nature. We can watch videos or shows about nature.
We can change our internal channel to the appreciation station. We can think, say, or write about anything we appreciate. This could be as simple as our blankets and pillows, as profound as our loved ones, or anything in between. There’s always something to appreciate.
Similarly, we can watch the gratitude channel by expressing gratitude for the people, pets, places, or things that we feel grateful for.
We can turn on the love network and tap into anyone, anyplace, or anything that feels easy to love.
We can turn to the happy channel where we smile, laugh, or listen to some comedy.
We can click on the relaxation station and do something that feels soothing, calming, or relaxing to us.
We can turn on an inspirational channel and watch, read, or listen to something that inspires us.
We can watch the music channel by playing music, singing, dancing, or watching music videos.
We can switch to the creative channel and immerse ourselves in a hobby, craft, or any type of creative project.
There are so many channels we can click on. All it takes is the awareness of the channel we’re on, and the desire to change the station. Over time, we get better at spending more time on desired networks and our bodies reap the benefits.
Let’s try a little experiment.
Think of one thing you’re worried about (just for a moment!)
Notice how you feel in your body.
Now, change the channel by thinking of something, someplace, or someone you appreciate or feel grateful for. Spend a moment here and notice how this feels.
Hopefully, you experienced the difference in your body right away, even if it was slight.
Of course, we can always reach out to supportive people if our minds are stuck on the worry channel, but since we spend 24/7 with ourselves, who better to change our internal channels than us?
With increased awareness and consistent practice, we can get better and better at taking charge of our focus and reap the benefits of a calmer nervous system, a clearer mind, and more moments of peace and ease.
It’s important that you don’t berate yourself if your mind grabs the remote and switches the channel back to some old unpleasant reruns or future fearful movies. This is about being aware of what our minds are up to and remembering that we have the option to compassionately and consistently change our focus.
I hope you will soothe your worried mind whenever it needs soothing. Then, resume the channels that feel the most compassionate, calming, uplifting and inspiring to you.
If you find yourself stuck on the worry station and would like to join me as I guide you in a channel-changing exercise, click here.